Another new beginning…. of sorts!

Today marks the first day I try to make a committed effort to salvage what’s left of my otherwise cluttered existence.

Events that have brought me up to this point have for a very long time tried to create a wall of obstacles in my path. For a while I believed it to be true that everything does pass. However, I have solemnly come to the conclusion that not everything or everyone for that matter passes.

For instance, the lady who used to live next door to my childhood home is STILL ALIVE!!! Not that I’m sad about it but she’s got to be at least a 100 years old… she was 80 the last time I saw her. that was 20 years ago.

Anyway my morning rolled to a stop today when I saw the heading of the daily paper;

Fals Springs happened to be my home…


Wrong SideFrustrated… Fuming and Failing…

These were the highlights of my mood today morning; for I had failed, yet again, to come up with a speech that could go with the objectives of a CC4 speech for my TOASTMASTERS activity.

Yesterday, I was waiting for inspiration to strike me but it never came.  I thought on my legs, I thought on my head and I thought on my bed, eventually falling asleep. How on earth am I going to fit in all these vivid words and similes and alliteration in a 5mins speech and moreover, what do I speak about? CC4 had become my bane.

Today morning, I thought about the last time I failed to come up with a CC4…



A week ago, when I was actually meant to give my CC4, several disasters occurred at the same time. The night before my alleged CC4, I was working on a borrowed laptop, all set to create MAGIC with it. Little did I realize that laptops, like human beings have a mind of their own; and this one was very different from all the other laptops I have used. I also have an iPad in my possession, which we have dearly named Sir I! As I was about to start my work, Sir I beckoned me with a blink on its screen. How could I refuse? Lo behold, Sir I is ready for his next update! I thanked my lucky stars for this working laptop that could help me update my dear Sir I. [my own laptop has been dead for a while. There are occasions when it wakes up from the dead, but its life remains obliterated beyond comparison]

I hooked the iPad onto the laptop and watched the pair get comfortable. Sir I started updating. I decided to carry on with my work. Suddenly, like a speaker stuck on his words, the laptop stumbled. I clicked, I punched a few keys, I even tried coaxing it with sweet words of affection. The Laptop refused to recognize me, its master! I was in a star trek situation, where Captain Kirk had lost control of the U.S.S. Enterprise or like Sachin who had lost control of his bat. Imagine that!

Connect to iTunesThen it hit me like a boulder. SIR I was still hooked on!! I felt like someone watching their friend getting an operation done; waiting outside for news, hoping against hope hopen that I will see my friend well again. I could not ask Sir I if he was doing alright and we were both in the dark. Then, all of a sudden, like a lamp in the wind, the laptop gave its last processing sigh and gave up on me…… I looked to Sir I in dismay. Sir I blinked one last time, [connect to iTunes, he said, and nothing more]…

WHAT HAD I DONE! I had lost not just someone else’s laptop [figuring out how much collateral damage this would result] but lost my 11 inch companion in dark times! How would I ever forgive myself??? The pressure was like a tsunami wave crashing down on me in the middle of a fabulous five course dinner. My head wouldn’t clear because all I could hear was the distant screams of a thousand iPads yelling at me, for killing their brother, from another mother.

Then a series of bad decisions followed, starting with running out of the house without thinking, walking off on a dark road with no street lights and setting off in the most twisted path through Chandanagar [Hyderabad] that anybody could have taken. In my defense, my brain had shut down and I was running on pure impulse and my impulse told me “Run awaaay… run faaar faar awaaay…. ”.

After a while, something happened that my Impulse did not count on. As the Bible verse goes, “The flesh is weak but the spirit is willing”. My legs began to give out as my brain began to reboot, all the system processes began to come alive and realized that I had walked more than 3km. Moreover it was cold. Funny I never realized the chill when I was busy running out of the house.

Alone on roadI took in my surroundings which was not much since there were no lights and I was on a stretch of empty rancid road. I had to make my exit, and soon. Then I grasped the consequences of my actions, one by one.

  1. I did not remember to take any money with me
  2. I did not know the exit to the main road or the lane I had taken to get here in the first place.

Using the help of my Instinct this time, I walked for it and found vehicles passing by on a busy road. Good thing about Chandanagar is that All Roads lead to the Main road. At least it was true in my case. I hit NH 9 and subconsciously put my hands in my pocket and what do I find there??? The best 10rs note I have seen my life, ever! Left behind a long time ago, forgotten in the recesses of my old jeans pocket. How glad I was that I had not washed these jeans for months!!

I quickly caught a share auto and reached home. Spoke to Deepthi, my Toastmaster friend, who had procured the laptop for me and she explained why the laptop behaved the way it did. Instant gratification was mine. Now the good news was I was the destroyer of only one expensive device, not two. Clarity struck me like a bolt of lightning and I called up the Apple support centre. I shared my agony with the man on the other side and he swore to bring Sir I back to life but, he warned me, even if I do get him back, he would not remember who he was. I had conveniently forgotten to back up his data before the update. However I, like a friend in agony, wanted nothing more than to have Sir I next to me, blinking and kickin!

I hazarded a last try on the laptop. Switched it on. Maybe it was a miracle or a fuller battery, it stayed on!

I love this iPadWith the Support personnel’s help, I figured out how to fix Sir I, and my dear friend came back to life. Of course, he had no idea he was Sir I, but a couple of apps here and there, temple run, subway surfers and fruit ninja later, Sir I was back. As good as new!

Time was now 1:30 AM. Most efficient procrastinator that I am, I pushed the speech preparation to my office time next day. How was I to know that the Production environment was going to fail on me that day? I went to sleep. Production failed, application staggered, escalations after escalations rampaged through my mailbox. My CC4 was still untouched.

As I was thinking about this incident, something had changed. It now looked and felt like a perfect CC4!!!

An old beginning

So there goes another year of movie mania and lazy, slightly bordering on non productive me-time on my chair. I wouldn’t call it entirely non-productive, for I have been quenching the never ending thirst for knowledge by reading up as much as possible from wherever possible; at work, at home, on the bus, in the loo, you get the point. In some ways I was waiting to see if the world would really end in 2012, in which case, death by a meteorite or an alien planet that magically appears out of nowhere would incinerate all hopes of someday making it marginally big! Defeatist, I know…

The D-Day came and went by without so much as a twitch in the so called collective conscience, except for a huge discount sale online. If you’re smiling, you know you’re one of the many who have raked in a killer deal on 12.12.12! Good for you!

However, 2013 shall be painstakingly dedicated to engage in anything and everything. Educate the few who are reading this post [hopefully you may come back for more], convincing myself that I too have a small space online which I can call my own [dramatic shehnai melody in the background] and to attempt a cold blooded murder on the self doubt that has been picking on me at strategically timed, critical life situations [job interviews, resume writing, why even while making an omelette.]. I Say, defeatist no more!!!

In conclusion, a small message to myself. If the next time you are reading this is the year 2014, consider yourself banned from blogging ever again! Good Day!

Upshot of The Calcutta Chromosome

If anyone were to ask me about any book that I have read, I would emabrk on an unending drawl about every aspect of the book I had come across. I could speak at length about the characters, about the plot, about the mood, about that which was written and unwritten. There have been many a books that caught me off guard, yet I always managed to stumble back on my feet and trudge through anyway. But never have I come across literature that gave me this unexplainable emotion, unsure of what to talk about. What do I start with? How do I tackle the plot? Even what to THINK! Was there a scheme to the entire 262 pages? Did the book talk to me? Yes. What did it say? I’m yet to figure that out!!!

Thinking about the beginning, when I first opened the book, it never crossed my mind that I was entering a maze. Of course, nobody knows when they’re walking into something unnerving, but for a tingling from within that cannot actually be placed. Was it the spine or the stomach? Five pages forward, I knew something sinister was lurking in the darkness that surrounded this book. Nothing like 23-Jim Carrey creepy, but an excitement that knew no bounds and quite honestly, did NOT care if that tingle meant something good or ugly. 20 pages into the book and I was hooked. What is this? An eulogy to malaria or an indisputable proof of something more, that Son of a Plasmodium (another; Plasmodium falciparum?) had to offer?

Leaving all the weirdness behind, it must be understood that the book was a treat to me. I feasted on it like a really hungry dog on a steak and did not dare to let it out of my sight until I was done. Oh well, it’s still on my desk, in my sight. I will revere Mr. Ghosh as a captivating story-teller, one who has seen the wickedly funny part of life and is all the more motivated to pass it on to his unwary readers. This one on the side is the closest I can share of my mental picture dedicated to Mr. Ghosh(no offense)

 “To know something is to change it, hence to make something known is the only way to effect a change”. A terrible line to have read, for it does not seem to be leaving my thought stream at any cost; making it all the more intriguing. It would be shame if I do not attempt to read more of his work…

The Calcutta Chromosome will be in my head for some time now, eating away at my conscious time, invigorating my unconscious…..!


Yesterday’s post was the result of a momentary lapse of good feminine sense. I apologize to the misfortune folks who read it. I understand that it is not on my part to judge a girl who wants to do what she wants to do. After all, we’re victims of our own perspectives. This said, I will correct that one shady line I wrote:

So if you’re going to walk out there clad in clothes closely resembling underwear; be prepared to be MAN-handled. No matter how decent the man is, he’s going to have a dirty thoughts ticker running across his head, NONSTOP!


So if you’re going to walk out there clad in clothes closely resembling underwear; be prepared to handle the man trying to MAN-handle you. Learn Taekwondo, Krav Maga, Jiu-Jitsu, learn from Poh, be the Jet Lee/Jackie Chan prodigy.  No matter who the man is, he should have cuckoos flying around his head, and possibly other vital parts, NONSTOP!

Once I hit the Publish button, Instant Gratification will be MINE!!!


Men & the Slut Walk

Escapades of the new generation amuse me. Things they do for reasons only they know, at least most of the time. With the advent of social networking < spare me Mr. Finch> youngsters have opened up a new arena to show off. The virtual one have them running helter skelter to prove their worth. Peer pressure has taken an entirely new dimension, one of cataclysmic proportions, as some see it.

I’m not averse to FB or any other social networking site, but using it as a tool to up your Online presence and bringing that change into your actual life, culminating in the death of your actual personality, that I am averse to. The sense of ‘Fake-or-Not’ has called it quits from our mental employment, much the same way as DISCRETION, which has also taken a similar path. “Down…”

Recently, I got an invite for an event called SLUT WALK. Ok. I have heard this to be a sensation up in the West and everything, girls standing up for their right to wear whatever they want and demanding boys not to STARE. Oh Pleeezz… An often described line pops in my head “Men are Dogs”. Girls, the statement in its entirety makes more sense than Obama winning the elections. They are wired that way and there’s nothing we can do about it. So if you’re going to walk out there clad in clothes closely resembling underwear; be prepared to be MAN-handled. No matter how decent the man is, he’s going to have a dirty thoughts ticker running across his head, NONSTOP! Again, no offense guys, just the way you are!!

I have come to understand that there’s little control the males have on this part of their system. Having to watch a girl not fully clothed will have an effect akin to wiping the board clean and throwing boiling thoughts into it. Unlike the female population, males can never control this urge to LET GO once they reach there. When we know all this as a fact, why then do we give them openings? Why do we later whine about it?

The best thing about Slut Walk is the name itself. Has a certain charm to it that challenges Men world around “Come harass us HERE if you dare…!” I would hope for this to be a success, but as far as men’s reaction to this is concerned, they’ve lost it the moment they sniffed the PROHIBITORY part of the movement. Prohibition is one word Men cannot stand… J To them, it’s another day of standing in the streets gawking at chics, possibly high on substances that faces a certain legality issue, clicking pictures on their Chinese phones and later share them with cronies of equal intellect ending the day with muddled thoughts of the day they had and whatever a two digit IQ can give them the benefit of….

At The Edge of Humanity

For a while now I’ve been seeing stuff on the News; horrible, gut-wrenching, inhuman stuff. If you’re an Indian, why if you’re Human, you will know what I’m talking about. Murder, arson, suicide, massacre and the worst of all, worse than death itself, RAPE. I have half a mind to assume that by way of some cosmic phenomenon, Earthlings (specifically INDIAN men) received a super dose of Testosterone and now its madness on the streets. Ok, that sounded a little on the geeky side, the only other alternative explanation summed up to a harmless term in Sanskrit – “Kali yuga”.

I’m not one to go all GaGa (is it copyrighted???) over Nostradamian predictions or slave to the Astrologer’s Fun board, but I have heard it firsthand from people of sound sense that there might be truth in all this, at least the pure version. Many have referred to terms like “Srishti”, “Kali yuga”, “Brahman” and others while conversing on day-to-day conversations, words scattered over large volumes of text explaining Creation and the Meaning of Life itself.

There was a time when I scorned at the thought of all my Sanskrit lessons from school coming to life. Now I feel bad for making paper planes and playing crossword puzzles in the language hour. When the News channel started spewing out gory stories of what people do to people, everyday, it caught my eye and then I heard the voice in my head “Remember… it’s already begun… you know…Kali yuga??”. OK, creepy voice in my head, I get it. Everything I could remember reading about this particular Era looked like it was coming true and the feeling of helplessness took an exponential turn, upwards. So I spent a day working on everything Google could spill out on the term “Kaliyug”.

Here’s a small intro for people who have no idea what I’m talking about…>

>> The Universe according to Hindu Mythology is Created and Destroyed in cycles. This period of one cycle is determined by Brahma – The Creator! So Brahma’s a funny guy. He creates Life in the morning; let them thrive for the entire day at the end of which Life ceases to exist. Then he enjoys a sweet siesta for another day and sets out to Create Life once more. The same process is repeated until the Brahma comes to an end, which happens to be after 100 years of his Existence. This followed by a period of Non-Existence for another 100 years (yes, Brahma’s 100 years) when nothing exists, and then the cycle begins again.

Now when I talk about One Day and One Year, we’re talking about the Great Brahma himself. Being the Supreme Being has got to have some perks, plus creating Life and letting them live it ALL OUT is going to take some time. The Vedic stance on this explains the life span of Brahma as divided into 14 parts, where each one is led by a Manu – another Creation of Brahma. This period of a Manu is divided into 71 Chaturyugas, meaning 71 parts, each divided into 4 eras (Satya, Treta, Dwapar and Kali). When you think about it, all of this will take a long time to pan out. How long?? How about 4.32 billion years! Hence, 1 day (Kalpa) for Brahma is 4.32 billion years for you and me!! “A perfectly loooooong time, I would say”… <<

So after living for 311 trillion and 40 billion years…, ohk, let’s take a breather now, why don’t you read this instead. There’s a perfectly good reason why Humans find it a tad bit uncomfortable contemplating Brahma’s lifetime. Or maybe it’s just me…

Now that the Human lifespan has been belittled by the Creator’s grace himself, it’s time to look at what we have done in that teensy bit of time we are given here, where our actions have actual physical consequence on Life and Non-Life equally. Wait, do we really want to think about it that way? I’m guessing not many people would want to do that because a vast majority of us haven’t done anything of actual significance or whatever they have done, has been undone by their own exploits. Yes, we have boomed technologically and culturally, even population wise, but is that enough for the Self? What about true happiness? Does anyone know how it feels to be truly happy anymore? I can say for myself that my happiness is simply a matter of non-sad, non-boring time where I get to bask in good thoughts. Other than that, I don’t remember the last time I was TRULY HAPPY.

Maybe I’m being naïve.

Coming to the colossal inhumanity being displayed by people nowadays, it’s difficult to push it aside with the same old excuse – “we’re only human”. NO, not anymore, because we’re better than this. History is filled with examples of how people realizing their dark nature have strived to become better beings, to propagate the message of love and peace (no, I’m not talking about the 70’s, but they do fit in the stereotype). Why do we settle for barbarianism when we are fully capable of decent cultured survival?

Lives are lost every day, just because someone got in the other’s way. The general tone on the streets has become so stupidly insane that nobody notices it anymore. Our emotions were once out weakest and our strongest point, so sometime during those years, we decided to not feel any longer. The same emotions which would let a Father sacrifice himself for his Daughter, today, lets him molest her. Taking someone’s life has become as easy as Posting a status message on someone’s wall or tweeting! The sanctity of Life has been lost on us and seldom do we think twice on anything that doesn’t concern our Self. Are we to ignore this sudden indulgence in this outrageously violent life? I think NOT. A person’s life is not negotiable, be it ANY situation.

This is a period when we are the most confused EVER, and instead of standing together, giving each other peace, we resort to killing and dictating the terms of survival for another being. If we think that none of this is going to rub on times to come, we’re HUGELY mistaken. In fact, so mistaken, that we’re not going to know what hit us and when. It has happened already, happening as you read and will keep happening as long as we decide to remain nonchalant about the white elephant in the room. EGO!

About a decade back, when I was still in the throngs of youth, having visions of the future, I thought it’ll all be pretty chilled out and everything. Little did I know that I was walking into an episode of Hell’s Finest! It’s disturbing and I would like to shun the very thought into the deepest darkest corner of my mind. Maybe if more people feel the same way, it could make a difference.

We must understand that “this too shall pass”, and this time, what comes next might not be the pretty picture, with a Godsend descending upon us to deliver us from our sins. It’s going to be a dry, desolate dump of an existence and I’m not ready to go there, not in this lifetime, not in the next. We are inching, no scratch that, we’re running a marathon to that dreaded place. I don’t deserve it and neither does a million other people. DO YOU?

We are indeed at the EDGE OF HUMANITY…..